Gratitude. You Need More Of It.

I was thinking back on something I said in yesterday's post about being grateful for more in your life. Looking around and truly being grateful for who and what you have in your life right not. It got me to thinking, what am I grateful for everyday?

Thinking about this, I thought I'd start a regular posting on things I'm grateful for.

It may help you to be more grateful if it reminds you of something in your life but it will for sure remind me.

So, here we go. Some of these may be corny but they really make me think about how amazing our planet really is.

This is my motivation. My wife and kids. Everyday, I look at one or more of them and I think, wow, they are here for me and I am here for them. I better do something great for all the love I get from them. They usually stand behind the crazy schemes I come up with. I love them dearly.

So, that's my beginning. Some will be like this one, easy to explain. Others will be, well, odd but I will have a reason to be grateful for it.

Chris.

10 Things I've Learned In The Last 20 Years Of My Life - Would My Younger Self Listen?

Back in January, I turned 46 and began to look at my life. I'm not sure what started me looking back on it but I did. It's been an interested couple of months. There have been high times and some very low times as I reflected on what I have and have not accomplished.

I've come to realize that there just might be fewer days ahead than there are behind and I wish to make them as memorable as possible. My health has become a huge focus for me. Not just my health but the health of everyone around me that I love and care about. That's a huge list of people!

My finances have become more important as well. I'm starting to see a time when I may not be working full time and I want to ensure I have enough to live a comfortable simple life.

So, here is a list of things that I'd like to beam back to my 26 year old self. If he could pull his head out of his butt long enough to listen (which I doubt very much) he may benefit from my "wisdom". Haha. I'm truly wiser than I was back then. Time it seems brings clarity and wisdom.

1. Money is important but don't chase after it. You need it but you need much less than you think. It's OK to want to have it but be clear on why you want it. It will not make you any happier, just miserable in a better part of town. Trust me on this one! Know what you want out of life and plan for that. Live within your means. Oh, and winning the lottery is not a good retirement plan! Play once in a while for the thrill but just know that it's not your retirement plan.

2. Having someone to spend time with is much better than being alone. 20 years ago, I was in a bad marriage and could not wait to find a way out of it (took me 7 years in total). But, that said, even though we didn't get along most of the time, it was still nice to have someone there for the few victories we had together. They would have been much duller alone. I still have some fond memories. I spend a couple of years alone after that and I'll tell you, it was rough. Sadness would frequently overcome me. But, I was not going to jump back into another relationship on a rebound and by waiting I found my soul mate. We have ups and downs but the ups are so high that we never see the downs once we get past them. Having someone in your life that you can share your fears with and your goals with helps you to work these things out. Two heads are always better than one.

3. Beauty fades, connections only deepen. I'm a true believer in love. Real love based on a shared direction in life and compatible beliefs and interests. Love based on how someone looks is not love. That's infatuation and it will fizzle out really quickly. A true and deep connection needs no physical look. Just a deep emotional connection. Just ask my wife. I'm not what I was in my 20's! LOL. Time has given me wrinkles and grey hair. I wear them proudly. They are the badges of my wisdom from my time on this planet.

4. Never Mind What The Joneses are doing. You will never be happy if you are constantly comparing yourself to others. NEVER. Just because that family down the street has a bigger house, a nicer car, a boat, a lake lot, a yard full of toys, etc., etc. does not mean they are happy. I would venture to guess they are not happy at all. The draw of all that stuff just leads to more stuff so you can try to keep up or out do the Joneses. It is not the path to happiness but to misery and a feeling of waste. You may move to a better part of town but you will be just as miserable in the end.

5. Be more grateful. Every moment every day. Look around you. Right now. Stop reading this and have a look around. What do you see? I'll be there is at least one thing to be grateful for. Are you living indoors? Be grateful for that when there are so many homeless who do not have that luxury. Do you get to drive to a grocery store to pick up food for your family? Do you have power, running water, heat? How about a TV? So many people in the world live with so much less than you have right now. Be grateful. ALWAYS.

6. Learn from your mistakes. Do you know what doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result is? That's the definition of crazy. If you make a mistake, learn from it. What went wrong? How can you get better results next time? I don't believe in failure. If you do something and it doesn't go as you expected, well you better learn from that. If you learn from it then it is a teaching moment not a failure. Life will send you many of those. Embrace them. Learn from them. It will make you a better person.

7. Slow down. We spend so much time running from this thing to that and never really appreciating the moments in between. We are all busy in this day and age. We have jobs that demand more and more from us, kids with school projects, sports, getting in a work out here and there. Slow down for a moment. Take the time to take a breath. I like to pop in to my nearest Tim Hortons for a coffee with my family and just sit there people watching. It's relaxing and can be eye opening to see how people interact.

8. Tomorrow never comes aka, Someday isn't on the calendar. If you keep putting off things, it will never get done. telling yourself that someday you'll do this or that is a really great way of never doing it. I always thought that someday I'd like to travel. Well, here we are 20 years later and I've only taken a couple of really great trips. I had thought there would be more. If you want to do it, then do it. Don't put it off. You will only regret it. Plan it out, take the steps. Don't wait, start today.

9. Express yourself. Creatively that is. I believe everyone on this planet has some creative talent in them. I don't care if you believe me or not. It's there. Maybe you like to paint, or write songs, or write stories for little kids. Maybe you like to dance naked at night with the lights off! What ever gets your creative juices flowin', go for it! Don't hold back. You'll love yourself for it. Me, I'm a photographer. I don't care who likes my work and who doesn't. I like it. I'm proud of it. Here, check out my images on flickr.

10. Take care of yourself. I can't stress this one enough. Take care of yourself. Eat good food, avoid highly processed foods. Get more sleep. Exercise. Get out into the fresh air. This is so important. You must take your health personally. It's the most important thing you can do in your life. You only get one body, take care of it and it will take you to heights you never thought possible. I follow a paleo lifestyle. Head over here for more information and inspiration on the subject. I was inspired by Mark Sisson of Mark's Daily Apple. I'll have to compile a list of my favorite pale and health websites and blogs for a future post.

Well, that's a lot to send back to my young self. Think I would have listened? Probably not. I sure hope I would have though. Life would be a lot different for me if I had but it's never to late to take my own advise.

I hope I've given some helpful information. Please leave me a comment or and email if I've helped in anyway.

Until next time. Cheers.

Chris.

How To Speak To Your Spouse About Minimalism and De-Cluttering

Making a switch to a minimalist lifestyle can really free up your time and money. It's lifted a huge weight of my shoulders since I made the decision. I've begun to declutter my office at work and my home.

BUT.....

If you are married with a family it can get complicated. What if you are the only one that immediately sees the benefits of the lifestyle change? What if you are not as attached to your possessions? What if your spouse and/or children just don't understand?

This can be a very touchy area. Becoming a minimalist usually goes against everything we think is the right way to live our lives in this consumerism driven society we live in here in Canada and the USA. We are bombarded by advertisements that tell us we need more, better, bigger, faster and on and on. Don't even get me started on trying to keep up with the Jonses!

I'm one who once I make up my mind to do something, I tend to jump head first into it and go for it. It may not work out but I'm not usually afraid to jump in and give it a try. A tendency my boss likes to remind me of a lot! My wife on the other hand does not really like change. Not dive in and go for it change like this anyway. She needs to think it over and understand it first.

When I first started in with becoming a minimalist, I didn't remember that. Much to my dismay. She was not into the idea at all and thought I was losing my mind. It caused quite a heated discussion in our house for sure. I was soon reminded that not everyone sees things the way I see them! So, I had to change my approach.

My new approach began with a huge apology. Then with a careful explanation that I was trying to shift our family from having to doing. Once I explained that I really wanted to do more with my family rather than just have all this stuff lying around, it began to make more sense to my wife.

I've taken a baby steps approach to the de-cluttering and given my wife the chance to adjust to my new philosophy and even to try to sell of some of our more useful items to recoup some of the cost. I decided to start slowly with the areas of our home that have a lot of extra items that are not being used or have not been used in a very long time. My closet for one, then the spare room in the basement that has become a drop point for stuff we don't know what to do with. Out grown kids clothes, toys, our old clothes that no longer fit in the closets, old paperwork. You get the idea.

At no point did I say to my wife that she must begin to de-clutter he belongings along with me. That would have been a bad idea. It's not a wise man who tells his wife what to do with her stuff. I simply told her I was going to de-clutter my closet and the spare bedroom. Once I began, she started to see that she had some stuff too that she would like to get rid of and decided to join me.

So, here are the steps that I have learned worked best for me.

Begin with yourself. You cannot force someone to de-clutter but if you lead by example, they will see how much happier you are with less and how much less stress there is by having all the extra stuff around. Eventually they may join with you and begin to de-clutter as well. I began with my closet space and my home office. Soon I will begin on the garage....that will be tough!

Talk about why. Sometimes people are resistant to change until they understand why you are trying to change. I explained to my wife that I wanted to focus on "doing" rather than "having". With less stuff in our home, we would spend less time and money cleaning and caring for our stuff and that would free up time and money for "doing".

Share your goals for the future. If you can come up with a common goal you will have much to focus on. Instead of seeing what you are losing by getting rid of a bunch of stuff, you can focus on what you will gain in the end. My wife and I want to take our kids and my parents to Mazatlan. That's a pricey plan. With selling off a lot of our stuff, we are getting closer to that goal faster. With not purchasing things for no good reason, we can save that money for the trip as well. I used to buy $20.00 worth of lottery tickets every week. Never winning anything was stressful. I decided that the $20.00 each week would add nicely to our trip fund. So, into the can it goes! A common goal will go a long way.

I have found several blog posts from fellow bloggers about this very thing and I've taken some notes and will be practicing some of the tips too. Here are a few of my favorite links that may really help you out.

Simplicity When Your Spouse Doesn’t Get It - from Becoming Minimalist
My Husband Doesn’t Understand Minimalism - from Loving Simple Living
When Your Spouse isn’t Simple - from Be More With Less

I wish you well in your de-cluttering efforts and with minimalism. Keep at it. It will come. It's not a race, it's a lifestyle.

Chris.

De-cluttering Your Time

I've noticed that while I'm de-cluttering my home there is another de-cluttering going on. My time is starting to be de-cluttered as well. I'm not sure when it started but I just noticed it yesterday. I've started doing things in my day more deliberately.

Social Media
For example, I haven't been on Facebook for over a week. What a huge time drain that thing is. Honestly, I don't really care that you went to a great little cafe and had a bagel for breakfast this morning. Why do you think I need to know? Facebook can be a great tool for bringing people closer together. I have family that lives on the other side of the country and I can send them a message at anytime. This is a great thing but it gets to be a problem when people obsess about it. I've been guilty of it myself. Sitting staring at the screen waiting for a comment, any comment on a status update or a photo I just uploaded. To the point of not doing anything else!

I've removed all the social media apps from my smart phone. I'm not saying I'll never be going back onto social media sites just not as a time killer or for some validation from people whose opinion I probably don't really care all that much about anyway. I certainly don't need them on my phone. When I'm out, I want to be more present. Not "there but not there" if you know what I mean. We all see them. People sitting in the most amazing of spaces and just looking at their screens chatting with someone. Here's an idea, why not call that person up and invite them to share this moment in person. I bet you are chatting with someone who lives less than 30 minutes from you.

Television
This one is another huge black hole in your life. Don't get me wrong, I like TV but I watch it deliberately. I always have. I hate having the TV on as background noise. I much prefer music, audio books or maybe a podcast in this day and age. I see no point in listening to the jibber jabber on the TV when it's nothing I want to actually watch. Especially the commercials. Terrible.

If I'm going to watch the TV it's on my time when it's something I want to watch not just for company. I do watch pointless entertainment on TV. The Simpsons is a favorite of mine. So I'm not trying to talk down to those who like to watch. Just be aware of the effect it is having on you and your time. Hours go by in a blink and suddenly you feel the need to shop as well. LOL.

The best thing my wife and I invested in for television was a PVR. We record the shows we want to watch so we can watch them on our schedule and we can skip the commercials!

What do you find in you life that steals away your time and gives you nothing in return? How can you cut them back and regain some control over the time you have each day?

Chris.

Give It Time....It's A Process.

It takes time to de-clutter one's life. How long did it take you to accumulate all that stuff? If your anything like me and my wife, it was years and years. We still have boxes from our wedding 12 years ago! Just sitting there taking up room. So after all these years of building up how can you expect to de-clutter it all in a weekend.

Where is this coming from you ask? Well after spending hours on the weekend clearing stuff out, throwing away what was garbage and putting up for sale some of the items we thing are worth trying to sell off, I still see such a mess! In fact I made more of a mess trying to clean up that mess! I moved stuff out into the basement hallway, piled things up here and there and that storage room floor is a write off!

But, I see now that it's going to take time. Lots of time and I'm willing to spend that time to better organize and de-clutter my home and life. I looked around that room this morning after getting out of the shower and I was feeling bad that I didn't get it all straightened up at once but just a little while ago I realized that it's a process this de-cluttering.

It takes time.

Chris.

Weekend De-Cluttering Progress

I made some great progress on the de-cluttering at home this weekend!

I pulled everything out of my closet in the bedroom. Everything. On to the bed it went and I looked at each piece of clothing with a very critical eye. My closet was packed. 9 linear feet of hanger space packed so tight that my shirts were always wrinkled from being squashed together all the time. I packed up 5 large black garbage bags of clothes that I have not worn in the last year or that I have no plans of wearing ever again. Let me say that number again.....5 large garbage bags!!! After the purge in the closet, I still have enough shirts to not have to laundry for at least a month. But these are my favorite shirts and I'm not one who believes that you only need 5 shirts in your closet. I brought the coats that I'm keeping up to my closet in the bedroom as well. I have no clothes in any closet other than my bedroom closet now. That's huge. I feel pretty good about that. My dresser is constantly being de-cluttered as underwear and socks get replaced and jeans and shorts last me for a very long time.

I also started on the spare bedroom/storage room in the basement. This room has always been a sore spot for me. It is the dumping ground for items we don't know what to do with. Clothes in bags that the kids have out grown, nick knacks that have been replaced and other general junk. I pulled all my books out, went through them and kept about 5% of them. I took the book case that they were in, put it in the family room and managed to eliminate 2 smaller book cases that had movies on them by moving the whole collection to this cabinet out in the open where it is seen and easy to get at. I have 2 more of these large book cases in the room that are getting a de-cluttering and a re-purposing as well. With the movies off one of them, I have room for all the school and craft supplies to go which will eliminate 3 paper boxes that float around the house all the time. I managed to condense a 4 drawer legal file cabinet down to a portable office file box! Talk about a lot of useless junk in that cabinet!

There is still a lot of work to go in this room but I will continue with it until it is complete before I move on to something else. My wife is convinced that I've lost my mind but she is going along with me as long as I don't get too carried away.

Speaking of my wife, she has decided to try to sell most of what I'm de-cluttering to recoup some money. What ever we make from this is going to be put away and go towards either our new deck or a trip to Mazatlan. Not sure which one yet. I'm really glad I was able to get through to her and show her that I'm just trying to simplify our lives and take some of the stress out of life. We also talked about not bringing anything new into the house that we don't need. She is on board with that.

Once spring gets here and the brain freezing cold snap we have been having this last few weeks stops, I am going to begin de-cluttering the garage and the shed in the yard. I have so many tools that I never use and I just don't need. They take up so much room and the garage is always a mess.

Here's to your de-cluttering success. I hope my example of de-cluttering my life will help to encourage you to do the same if you want. I feel really good about it and I'm hoping to have more with less in the future. It's a process but a worth while one.

Chris.

No Right Or Wrong Way......

I don't believe there is a right or wrong way to begin to de-clutter ones life. I think for my home a gradual peeling away of the layers is going to work best. It's not just myself that needs to de-clutter, it's my wife and both kids as well. If it were just me, it would be fairly quick and painless. A great purge.

I have to be more sensitive to my families feelings and work more slowly towards this goal. I'll lead by example and start to purge my own clutter. I am far from innocent in the clutter problem here! I have years of books, sheet music, computer parts and clothes to go through.  Don't even Ask about my tools!

Thursday evening I broached the subject with my wife, the wrong way! It lead to a rather heated discussion that did not end well. Friday evening, I appologized for my poor delivery of the message I was trying to convey and we had a good adult discussion about de-cluttering our home. It will begin this weekend with our closet and the spare room in the basement,  or as I call it.......the disaster room!

This could be an eye opening weekend to just how much unessessary stuff we have.

Chris